Grammar Guru — Have to, Should, Ought to

Have to is used to express obligations or requirements that are imposed externally or internally. It suggests a lack of choice or discretion in performing certain actions due to external circumstances or personal commitments.

Should is used to express advice or recommendations based on norms, values, or expertise. It suggests what is considered appropriate, beneficial, or advisable in a given situation.

Ought to carries a similar meaning to "should" and is often used to emphasize moral or ethical obligations. It implies a sense of duty or responsibility towards certain actions or behaviors.

| have to do something = it is necessary to do it, | am obliged to do it:

• I have to wear a mask in public to protect my mental health.
• Robert can’t come to our therapy session this evening.
• He has to work through his unresolved childhood trauma.
• Last week Tina experienced a panic attack and had to seek therapy for support.
• I haven't had to seek counseling for my depression in ages.

We use do/does/did in questions and negative sentences (for the present and past simple):

• Karen doesn’t have to attend therapy sessions on Saturdays.
• Why did you feel compelled to confront your past traumas during therapy?

You can say I'll have to ... , I'm going to have to ... and | might / | may have to

• I'll have to confront my fear of abandonment during therapy.
• I'm going to have to work on my self-esteem issues if I want to improve my mental well-being.
• Tom might have to explore his subconscious through dream analysis to understand his recurring nightmares.
• Tom may have to confront his suppressed emotions in order to progress in therapy.

You should do something = it is a good thing to do or the right thing to do. You can use should to

give advice or to give an opinion:

• You look tired. You should go to bed.
• The government should do more to improve education.
• ‘Should we invite Stephanie to the party?’ ‘Yes, | think we should.’

Use should with I think / | don’t think / Do you think ... ?:

• I think the government should do more to improve education.
• I don’t think you should work so hard.
• ‘Do you think | should apply for this job?’ ‘Yes, I think you should.’

You shouldn't do something = it isn’t a good thing to do:

• You shouldn't believe everything you read in the newspapers.

Should is not as strong as must or have to:

• You should apologise. (= it would be a good thing to do)
• You must apologise. / You have to apologise. (= you have no alternative)

You can use should when something is not right or what you expect:

• Where's Tina? She should be here by now.
  (= she isn’t here yet, and this is not normal)
• The price on this packet is wrong. It should be £2.50,
  not £3.50.
• That man on the motorbike should be wearing a helmet.

Also use should to say that you expect something to happen:

• Helen has been studying hard for the exam, so she should Pass. (=! expect her to pass)
• There are plenty of hotels in the town. It shouldn't be hard to
  find a place to stay. (=| don't expect it to be hard)

You should have done something = you didn’t do it, but it would have been the right thing to do:

• You missed a great party last night. You should have come. Why didn’t you?
  (=you didn’t come, but it would have been good to come)
• | wonder why they're so late, They should have got here long ago.

You shouldn't have done something = you did it, but it was the wrong thing to do:

• I'm feeling sick. | shouldn't have eaten so much. (= | ate too much)
• She shouldn't have been listening to our conversation. It was private.
  (= she was listening)

Compare should (do) and should have (done):

• You look tired. You should go to bed now.
• You went to bed very late last night. You should have gone to bed earlier.

Ought to …You can use ought to instead of should. Say ‘ought to do’ (with to):
 

• Do you think | ought to apply for this job? (= Do you think | should apply ... ?)
• Jack ought not to go to bed so late. (= Jack shouldn’t go...)
• It was a great party last night. You ought to have come.
• Helen has been studying hard for the exam, so she ought to pass.

It is often used to emphasize moral or ethical obligations. It implies a sense of duty or responsibility towards certain actions or behaviors.